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An abusive man is not unable to resolve conflicts nonabusively; he is unwilling to do so. The skill deficits of abusers have been the subject of a number of research studies, and the results lead to the following conclusion: Abusers have normal abilities in conflict resolution, communication, and assertiveness when they choose to use them. They typically get through tense situations at work without threatening anyone; they manage their stress without exploding when they spend Thanksgiving with their parents; they share openly with their siblings regarding their sadness over a grandparent’s death. But they don’t want to handle these kinds of issues nonabusively when it involves their partners. You can equip an abuser with the most innovative, New Age skills for expressing his deep emotions, listening actively, and using win-win bargaining, and then he will go home and continue abusing.
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via seebster)

castielsgayagenda:

unejeuneidiote:

unclefather:

thinkintrixxter:

toomanyfandomssolittletime:

tHIS IS THE YEAR WOMEN FINALLY SAID “FUCK YOU” TO SEXISM

YOU GO , GIRL.

'not that you're the genius'

questioning her intelligence when he has that hair cut in 2014

BAAAAAAAM, for fuck’s sake!!

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT MAYIM BIALIK. 

FOR YEARS AS A KID AND TEEN, SHE BALANCED SCHOOL AND ACTING, NEVER ONCE LETTING HER GRADES DROP OR HER CAREER SUFFER. 

SHE GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL AT THE TOP OF HER CLASS, AND WAS ACCEPTED TO HARVARD AND YALE BUT CHOSE TO GO TO UCLA BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO STAY CLOSE TO HER FAMILY. 

SHE EARNED A BACHELORS IN NEUROSCIENCE, HEBREW STUDIES, AND JEWISH STUDIES ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

SHE THEN WENT ON TO GET HER DOCTORATE AND A Ph.D. IN NEUROSCIENCE, WHILE BALANCING AN ACTING CAREER AND MOTHERHOOD.

SHE HAS BEEN THE BUTT OF SO MANY FASHION JOKES AND ANTI-SEMETIC JOKES IN HOLLYWOOD. WHEN PEOPLE SAW HER AS AMY, THEY RIDICULED HER ONLINE. 

BUT SHE STUCK WITH IT. BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING PERSON AND IS HAVING NONE OF THIS “WOMEN CAN’T BE SUCCESSFUL AND SMART BULLSHIT. 

SHE IS ALSO A NOW-SINGLE MOM OF TWO BOYS. AND STILL KEEPS HER CAREERS (YES THAT’S FUCKING PLURAL) ACTIVE.

BUT YET, PEOPLE STILL HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ASK HER STUPID FUCKING SEXIST QUESTIONS THAT THEY WOULD NEVER GIVE, SAY, JIM PARSONS OR JOHNNY GALECKI. 

MAYIM BIALIK IS A FUCKING ICON. 

(Source: scavengervortex)

True gender equality is actually perceived as inequality. A group that is made up of 50% women is perceived as being mostly women. A situation that is perfectly equal between men and women is perceived as being biased in favor of women.
And if you don’t believe me, you’ve never been a married woman who kept her family name. I have had students hold that up as proof of my “sexism.”
My own brother told me that he could never marry a woman who kept her name because “everyone would know who ruled that relationship.” Perfect equality – my husband keeps his name and I keep mine – is held as a statement of superiority on my part.

Lucy, When Worlds Collide: Fandom and Male Privilege

Also the study where they had women and men talking in a discussion and when women spoke around 30% of the time, men perceived them as dominating the discussion. They didn’t consider it “equal” until something like 5-10% of women talking. (via dumbthingswhitepplsay)

Voila. A beautiful example of why fighting for equality becomes a gross exaggeration in the eyes of the oppressors. (via curiouslycool)

(Source: seaofbadstories)

Ancient moon priestesses were called virgins. ‘Virgin’ meant not married, not belonging to a man - a woman who was ‘one-in-herself’. The very word derives from a Latin root meaning strength, force, skill; and was later applied to men: virle. Ishtar, Diana, Astarte, Isis were all all called virgin, which did not refer to sexual chastity, but sexual independence. And all great culture heroes of the past, mythic or historic, were said to be born of virgin mothers: Marduk, Gilgamesh, Buddha, Osiris, Dionysus, Genghis Khan, Jesus - they were all affirmed as sons of the Great Mother, of the Original One, their worldly power deriving from her. When the Hebrews used the word, and in the original Aramaic, it meant ‘maiden’ or ‘young woman’, with no connotations to sexual chastity. But later Christian translators could not conceive of the ‘Virgin Mary’ as a woman of independent sexuality, needless to say; they distorted the meaning into sexually pure, chaste, never touched.

Monica Sjoo, The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth  (via thewaking)

Literally the most important thing you will read today.

(via aesrettibeht)

#staywoke

(via diokpara)

(Source: ynannarising)

trying-to-resonate-concrete:

"I would have preferred this writer explore these ideas" is an opinion.

"This writer has trouble with certain aspects of story-telling" is a criticism.

"This writer sucks and is talentless" is a mean-spirited insult.

"This writer should die" is a vile, shitty thing for which there is no excuse for saying.

Please learn the difference and please don’t pretend you’re doing one of the two former when you’re doing one of the two latter.

gtsaiyaman01:

kateordie:

Dowling Duncan and redesigning the American Dollar:

Why the size?
We have kept the width the same as the existing dollars. However we have changed the size of the note so that the one dollar is shorter and the 100 dollar is the longest. When stacked on top of each other it is easy to see how much money you have. It also makes it easier for the visually impaired to distinguish between notes.

Why a vertical format?
When we researched how notes are used we realized people tend to handle and deal with money vertically rather than horizontally. You tend to hold a wallet or purse vertically when searching for notes. The majority of people hand over notes vertically when making purchases. All machines accept notes vertically. Therefore a vertical note makes more sense.

Why different colors?
It’s one of the strongest ways graphically to distinguish one note from another.

Why these designs?
We wanted a concept behind the imagery so that the image directly relates to the value of each note. We also wanted the notes to be educational, not only for those living in America but visitors as well. Each note uses a black and white image depicting a particular aspect of American history and culture. They are then overprinted with informational graphics or a pattern relating to that particular image.

$1 – The first African American president
$5 – The five biggest native American tribes
$10 – The bill of rights, the first 10 amendments to the US Constitution
$20 – 20th Century America
$50 – The 50 States of America
$100 – The first 100 days of President Franklin Roosevelt. During this time he led the congress to pass more important legislations than most presidents pass in their entire term. This helped fight the economic crises at the time of the great depression. Ever since, every new president has been judged on how well they have done during the first 100 days of their term.

I get so annoyed with Americans who make fun of Canadian currency because it’s “Monopoly Money.” What? Our currency is multicoloured, see-through, holographic and almost indestructible! I guess that’s not as cool as being impossible to tell apart, wrinkly, bland and super easy to rip?

These designs are slick as hell, though.

I could get behind these, tbh.

(Source: ickyfunk)

thekimonogallery:

"Like most things Japanese, furin arrived in Japan from China about two thousand years ago through Buddhism. Originally used to protect temples from evil spirits, furin provide aural comfort from the summer’s heat. Many homes in Japan don’t have air conditioning, so people hang furin in open windows. The blowing breeze causes the bead clapper to hit the glass, creating the tinkling sound of ice in a cool beverage. The melodious ringing of the bell refreshes and relaxes the Japanese."  text by Susan Miyagi Hamaker

Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.

This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.

I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.

I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.

As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.

excerpt from “FYI, I Cannot “Demand” Respect From Men so Stop Telling Me That!" @ One Black Girl. Many Words.  (via fajazo)

We need to start teaching all young boys to be accountable. We’ve failed our young boys and girls for too long.

(via allmyfriendsarewhite)

*our young people, because not everyone is a boy or a girl

(via the-kellephant)

(Source: daniellemertina)

takatsu:

I’ve said this again and again,and I would never get tired of reiterating: Haikyuu brings something new and something extremely important to the world of sports anime. 

That is advancing the perspective of the defeated, the characters in the periphery, the characters that we often forget and bypass when we watch sports series.

We’ve had a lot of sports series in the past years—series that emphasize the value of determination, teamwork, patience, and talent—the key to catching that win. But is that all there to is? Is competition just about winning, or more importantly—

Is it just about WINNERS?

I must say, this has been the most emotional episode of Haikyuu for me. Why? Cause we get to see that losing is something unnatural. Okay. Yeah. Losing is inevitable, but the way we focus on the story of the winners makes us forget how the other teams have felt. In this case, Furudate-sensei has achieved something I haven’t ever seen from the other sports anime that I’ve watched. He knows that these other teams also have their stories. It makes me glad that this episode was told from the perspective of the losing team. If this was the conventional sports anime, we would’ve shrugged our shoulders over this other team, went full force on supporting the protagonists. But no. It made you feel like, “Hey, it doesn’t really matter who wins. Everyone is doing their best, aren’t they?

Another point of contention is the fact that the rival teams have always been presented in an antagonistic way—arrogant players who just wanted to bring down those who get in their way, athletes who only think of winning, blah, blah, blah. In the Nekoma vs. Karasuno match, I did not see any antagonist in Nekoma. They were supporting each other. To quote the Nekoma Coach, “they bring out the best in each other, that’s why they are called ‘rivals’.”

Watching this episode only made me realize again that in essence, their is no useless team. Every single player, every single team—all of them has their own story, their own purpose. Their relationships might rest on rivalry or friendship—but these two things all boil down to the fact that they are “bonds”, reactions that make the competing teams better and improve themselves. After all, this is the essence of sports—continuing to challenge yourself and come out as a better, stronger, and serious player.

I do hope, and sincerely so, that Haikyuu continues to be like this. :)

solar-citrus:

I’ve received a lot of letters from artists asking to check out their artwork and their blog, and I’ve noticed that a lot of them openly write unhealthy amounts of negative comments about their artwork, it was super depressing, honestly.  :(
Confidence plays a very very important role as an artist, it’s what helps us learn and grow without the constant feeling of doubt and jealousy!  You are a unique individual who must go down your own unique path, and as scary as it sounds, you can’t rely on others to hold your hand all the way through.  You are the only one who can get yourself to where you need to go, and beating up your artwork is not the way!  Trust yourself and your abilities to make a change, and you can do anything!!

Love your art, love yourself!

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